Education...a follow up to my reflections on adoption.

I would like to take this time to answer a question that someone asked. I would have liked to answer personally, but was unable to access the e-mail address... Odd, but maybe I was meant to answer here for other people to read as well.

A wonderful thing about pursuing an adoption with special needs is that you are able to select the needs that you and your family are comfortable working with. Before we submitted our dossier to China we thought that if we put that we were open to a child with special needs that the adoption agency or China would determine the child that they would place with our family and that we might not be able to handle the needs that such a child may have. We were afraid, and as other first time parents around the world do, we were hoping for a perfectly healthy child to bring into our home. (I mean adoption can be scary enough!) However we learned that there were waiting children on our agency’s list and we began to check out their waiting program. We learned that the parents find their child and that you are in control, even more so than in the non-special needs program because you get to choose your child! I know that there is something magical that happens in the matching room at CCAA, I’ve seen the beautiful families that they have helped build, but there is something awe-inspiring about finding your child on a waiting child list and wondering how other families could have passed him or her by. I mean how could they?! But you know, you know in your heart of hearts that this child, was meant to come home to your heart and your home. No other home would have been the right home? I know, I speak from experience, I saw the most beautiful little girl on a waiting list a few years ago, and I knew that she was special. However at the same time I KNEW that she was not meant to be our daughter, and something miraculous happened, she was matched with our friends. At the time we didn’t know that they were planning to adopt again, maybe they weren’t sure of it themselves. But when we heard that they had been matched with her we rejoiced! Anyways, on to the topic at hand…

How did we begin to educate ourselves about special needs and special needs adoption? This is after all a lifetime commitment that we are making to a child.







No Hands But Ours
On the left side panel of my blog you will find the button for No Hands But Ours (http://www.nohandsbutours.com/) this is a website dedicated to "providing encouragement, information, and support for families of the children who wait, and for those who wait no more. Replacing fear with knowledge. Replacing doubt with assurance. Replacing isolation with community. Replacing defeat with hope. This site offers basic information about the many types of "special needs" that children may have. They also provide links to other resources on the web to help you find more answers to your questions.


Rainbow Kids
Another valuable resource can be found at http://www.rainbowkids.com/ where they too have a myriad of information about lots and lots of special needs. They also have wonderful information for adoptive families in general, not special needs, just great information for adoptive parents. I really like this website and find useful things here frequently. In addition to information about special needs, they also have a pretty good resources section where you can find links to medical articles, adoptive parents who are willing to share from experience, and all other sorts of weblinks.



Yahoo Groups
I couldn't possibly tell about my educational experience without giving a shout out to my yahoo groups and the many "friends" that I have met online. Their stories inspired me. Their experiences challenged me. There are many marvelous groups for most of the special needs out there, as well as other groups that are just super supportive. My overall favorite group is Loving China's Children, we talk about our experiences, pray for each other, well it's basically like getting together with girlfriends, except better than girl friends because they are all going through adoption too, and sometimes our daily friends and loved ones just don't get it the way my friends do online. I have a lot of different support groups, but at the moment I find I don't have time to enjoy all of them, so I enjoy a few. Here are my current must reads... Loving China's Children (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LovingChinasChildren/) Adopt Cleft (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/adoptcleft/) In the past I found these groups useful as well Waiting SN Children China (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WaitingSNChildrenChina/?yguid=269617998) Club Foot Adoption (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/clubfootadoption/?yguid=269617998) At the time our agency had a waiting child yahoo group and we also learned a lot from talking with people about their experiences. Sadly our agency was a victim of the slow downs and economic woes. The new agency we were placed with did not (or does not) allow you to participate on the waiting child yahoo group until you are with the program (which seems odd to me, but is their prerogative, I guess, either way I was perturbed to be denied entry to the group when I was a client with the agency, as a post-placement adoptive parent preparing to submit a new application... Whatever, we aren't using them...)
So as you wait and consider a special needs adoption, or perhaps are considering adoption for the first time. Take your time, God will lead you to your child, the child who is meant to be a part of your family. If He leads you to a path you will feel a peace in the midst of stormy gales. I know that there are times I question some of the needs that we put on the list or wonder if we should have checked other needs to include more. However, I know God will bring the right child to us. I know that His timing is not my timing. It never has been, and it never will be. However, I am learning that His timing is perfect.

"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.” 2 Samuel 22:31-33